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People Who Are On The Verge Of Suicide Give You Subtle Clues

27 November 2017

Over a decade ago from 2003-2004, I tried many times to kill myself for personal reasons. There were a few times I overdosed some meds (but not so much) and I dropped to the floor on several occasions feeling my blood pressure drop and heartbeat stop, it was close to death. It was a period of despair in my life, I just wanted to hurt myself, to rebel. But the one final thing I did at that time was funny. I didn't look and whatever it was, I just swallowed half the bottle of pills and cried myself to sleep. Sabi ko sa sarili ko, I won't let anyone know about this and will die in my sleep peacefully, ayokong isipin nila it was a suicide. I even tried to show everyone that I was happy before going to sleep as my way of saying goodbye (and totoo nga na people who try to commit suicide will show a happy facade to the world). I thought to myself... this is it, paalam. So the next day, the very moment I felt conscious, I didn't open my eyes yet thinking I might be somewhere else, then I slowly opened and feeling surprised that I just took a sleep! Because that bottle was melatonin. Everything I'm saying here is true and this is not a joke. Sometimes people who are on the verge of committing suicide try to show that they are happy. Sometimes people have a subtle way of saying farewell. You might have missed those clues, in case this also happened to you. And sometimes I'm also getting tired of uploading photos or picking photos for posts. This is too personal anyway so I will leave this post as it is, just plain text. 

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